just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Randomize
