You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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