You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
