my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Randomize