What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Randomize