Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Randomize
