Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
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