I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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