Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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