like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Randomize
