I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
