I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
