pedialite and red bull = repair kit
I want you more than these girls want KFC
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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