Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
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