me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
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