I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
