You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
He did a backflip because drugs
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
