I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
