i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
