My brain says no but my pants say off.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
