$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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