after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Randomize
