you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
