NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
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