ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Randomize
