just come out here and I will go home with you...
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
