just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
