Texts From Last Night

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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?

  (201): View more from New Jersey

  obviously you're part succubus.

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  (609): Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf? (201): obviously you're part succubus. http://tfl.nu/sqeb
  Replies (8) Good night (2300) Bad night (677)
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  (361): View more from Texas

  I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.

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  (361): I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing. http://tfl.nu/i6wh
  Replies (29) Good night (506) Bad night (3595) Order T-Shirt
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?

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  (919): So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that? http://tfl.nu/v1uh
  Replies (13) Good night (532) Bad night (3438) Order T-Shirt
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  (818): View more from California

  hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win

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  (818): hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win http://tfl.nu/nyog
  Replies (14) Good night (8213) Bad night (513) Order T-Shirt
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  (718): View more from New York

  im getting my college education on yahoo answers.

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  (718): im getting my college education on yahoo answers. http://tfl.nu/sx90
  Replies (23) Good night (5183) Bad night (637) Order T-Shirt
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  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home

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  (918): I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home http://tfl.nu/0qps
  Replies (16) Good night (813) Bad night (4046) Order T-Shirt
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  (321): View more from Florida Space Coast

  Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone

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  (321): Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone http://tfl.nu/v4em
  Replies (29) Good night (644) Bad night (3878)
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.

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  (612): i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited. http://tfl.nu/7k6j
  Replies (22) Good night (837) Bad night (8012) Order T-Shirt
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.

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  (201): You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked. http://tfl.nu/py4z
  Replies (7) Good night (3793) Bad night (939) Order T-Shirt
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  (204): View more from Manitoba

  We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.

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  (204): We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk. http://tfl.nu/82pr
  Replies (3) Good night (1573) Bad night (714) Order T-Shirt
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  (+61): View more from Australia

  She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?

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  (+61): She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental? http://tfl.nu/sd8n
  Replies (21) Good night (1272) Bad night (2553) Order T-Shirt
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  (573): View more from Missouri

  What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.

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  (573): What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important. http://tfl.nu/vy7b
  Replies (19) Good night (513) Bad night (4702) Order T-Shirt
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  (865): View more from Tennessee

  I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.

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  (865): I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it. http://tfl.nu/3j3f
  Replies (4) Good night (438) Bad night (1325) Order T-Shirt
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  (985): View more from Louisiana

  He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.

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  (985): He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed. http://tfl.nu/6hgc
  Replies (6) Good night (1018) Bad night (239) Order T-Shirt
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  (607): View more from New York

  I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.

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  (607): I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend. http://tfl.nu/q6a0
  Replies (6) Good night (266) Bad night (696) Order T-Shirt

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