Texts From Last Night

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  (248): View more from Michigan

  If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.

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  (248): If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would. http://tfl.nu/psvg
  Replies (5) Good night (570) Bad night (913)
• Favorite

  (734): View more from Michigan

  I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.

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  (734): I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire. http://tfl.nu/kkrz
  Replies (17) Good night (1873) Bad night (2982)
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  (646): View more from New York

  The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.

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  (646): The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song. http://tfl.nu/nwvh
  Replies (87) Good night (4189) Bad night (1146)
• Favorite

  (808): View more from Hawaii

  Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?

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  (808): Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way? http://tfl.nu/yy6b
  Replies (15) Good night (4736) Bad night (1163)
• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.

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  (617): i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night. http://tfl.nu/15vj
  Replies (50) Good night (5069) Bad night (1690)
• Favorite

  (706): View more from Georgia

  we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.

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  (706): we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating. http://tfl.nu/lk5p
  Replies (13) Good night (6696) Bad night (1413)
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.

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  (203): I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed. http://tfl.nu/jzfc
  Replies (35) Good night (6291) Bad night (2233)
• Favorite

  (815): View more from Illinois

  so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club

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  (815): so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club http://tfl.nu/2gpd
  Replies (9) Good night (2480) Bad night (898)
• Favorite

  (979): View more from Texas

  I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...

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  (979): I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to... http://tfl.nu/okbj
  Replies (29) Good night (4109) Bad night (1570)
• Favorite

  (318): View more from Louisiana

  We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..

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  (318): We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed.. http://tfl.nu/orkv
  Replies (3) Good night (4120) Bad night (1163)
• Favorite

  (708): View more from Illinois

  I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?

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  (708): I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer? http://tfl.nu/8pri
  Replies (9) Good night (940) Bad night (1986)
• Favorite

  (816): View more from Missouri

  I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring

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  (816): I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring http://tfl.nu/n1of
  Replies (2) Good night (2137) Bad night (701)
• Favorite

  (229): View more from Georgia

  He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.

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  (229): He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam. http://tfl.nu/61az
  Replies (1) Good night (981) Bad night (1621)
• Favorite

  (314): View more from Missouri

  The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.

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  (314): The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons. http://tfl.nu/mw2s
  Replies (10) Good night (2371) Bad night (999)
• Favorite

  (804): View more from Virginia

  He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.

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  (804): He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him. http://tfl.nu/lrjc
  Replies (1) Good night (1099) Bad night (245)

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