Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
