dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
29 Times Beach Sex Ended With Sand In All The Wrong Places
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.