so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
25 People Reveal The Creepiest Kids They Went to School With
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
17 Subtle Body Language Signs That Reveal A Lot About Someone
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.