She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...