whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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