why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
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