Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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