Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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