it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
