At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Randomize
