I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
