I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
