He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
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