I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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