Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
