She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
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