I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
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