I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
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