It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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