he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard