He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Randomize
