I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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