youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Randomize
