real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
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