I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
