I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
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