If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
