Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
