I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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