If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
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