his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
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