thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
I got inside last night via doggy door
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Randomize
