I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Randomize
