I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
two words: eviction party
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
