also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Randomize
