I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Randomize
