If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
