I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
