thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
