So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Randomize
